Water, wind, and fire are everywhere. They are a part of this world we live in, and some people fear them. Imagine how they handle particular situations that require them to interact with these things. These are necessities of life, and I wouldn’t tell you to imagine life without them because there isn’t.
We all know about the fear of heights or what’s also called acrophobia. We are all aware of this fear, but not everyone cares enough to understand it. Sometimes, all claim to have it. But how real is acrophobia? Are phobias hard to conquer?
“Everybody has little behavioural quirks; that’s what makes us unique and interesting. However, when these behaviours start to impact on our quality of life or affect our nearest and dearest, we need to reflect on what is really behind the actions and what we can do about it.” – Dr. Peter Finlay, Ph.D.
Acrophobia is an extreme fear of heights. An acrophobic doesn’t need to be way up high to feel the intense feeling of distress that causes panic and nervousness.
At first, I thought maybe acrophobic people are just exaggerating. It can’t be that bad! But when I met Jamie, I started to understand this condition a little deeper. I realized it was no joke. People with acrophobia are suffering!
Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. explained in an article that with phobias the threat is greatly magnified. “For example,” she said, “it is only natural to be afraid of a snarling Doberman, but it is irrational to be terrified of a friendly poodle on a leash, as you might be if you have a dog phobia.”
I met Jamie through work some years back. I’m a flight attendant myself, and she was just aspiring then. When I first saw her getting prepped for her training, I knew there was something off about her. She seemed anxious and lost. I wasn’t sure, but you can tell by the way she looked down, looked away then looked blank that she was feeling uncomfortable.
What Are The Symptoms Of Acrophobia?
You feel anxious whenever you’re in an elevated place even though it’s not high.
You lose control over your body and mind that you might get extremely confused.
You develop a headache because the level of stress is too high.
You feel dizzy and nauseated.
You feel nervous and tense.
You experience rapid heartbeat and palpitations.
Days passed, and I heard Jamie was struggling with her training. When I saw her in the cafeteria, I felt like talking to her, so I asked her how the training was going. Then I learned that she was acrophobic, but being a flight attendant was her ultimate dream. It made me wonder if she always had acrophobia. How could she want to be a flight attendant if she knew she’s afraid of heights?
What Causes Acrophobia?
The most accepted explanation of why people develop phobias is the fear of hurting oneself, the fear of falling and getting injured and dying. When we were a baby, we didn’t fear anything at all. We just responded when we felt hungry, sleepy, or uncomfortable, but nobody was immensely afraid of heights during infanthood. People develop fear because of the past experiences of being hurt and injured from a fall. It could also be from the knowledge of what could be the outcome of falling from a high place.
I learned that Jamie had a fall when she was a teen. She was a cheerleader and fell during a rehearsal which caused her to stop coming to practice, then finally quitting altogether. Right before that incident though, she always wanted to be a flight attendant, and it broke her heart when she realized she was starting to fear high places.
According to Dr. Peter Finlay, Ph.D., “While there can, of course, be latent reasons where past experiences are manifesting in bizarre and undesirable ways, in many cases the solution to the problem is much simpler and more readily addressed than one might think.”
She would have nightmares of falling from a mountaintop or an airplane, and she would wake up anxious. Ever since then, she avoided activities and places that will cause her to feel afraid. She admitted that there were so many opportunities she missed, but when she finally needed to make a decision, she knew she couldn’t give up her dreams. Her mom was a flight attendant, and there was no stopping her from becoming one.
What Are Ways To Overcome Acrophobia?
Reflect on why you want and need to overcome your fear.
Remember all the opportunities you missed because you couldn’t face your fear.
Decide whether you still want to live in the shadows of acrophobia.
If you’re finally decided to overcome your fear, prepare to face it.
Don’t rush. You can’t deal with it with just one try.
Focus on your goal. Think of it as a motivation.
Relax and breathe. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Today, Jamie is one of the senior flight attendants in our airline, and she’s doing pretty well. I can’t help but admire her whenever I think of how she started. Although according to her, there are still times it gets to her, but she won’t let it come between her and her dreams.
When you ask me if she overcame her acrophobia, I would answer yes! Overcoming our fear doesn’t necessarily imply it vanishes all at once. It just means we are brave enough not to let it stop us from living.
“What’s to blame for our fears? Are we destined to have fears and phobias based on the genes we inherit, or are our experiences to blame?” – Seth J. Gillihan Ph.D.
One of the most human and instinctive traits that we humans have is fear. Fear is one of the primary reasons why humanity will and has survived all throughout these years. Fear allows us to discern and evaluate the potential dangers around and within the environment that may cause us harm or pain. This emotion is natural not just to us but to almost all living organisms as it is programmed within the very consciousness of our existence.
Rational and Irrational Fears
Fear can be classified into two factors – rational fear and irrational fear.
Rational fear is fearing something within reason to a particular situation or scenario where the potential harm can occur.
Irrational fear is far more different. It is an abnormal fear of a specific thing or situation that induces the desire to avoid it even if awareness and assurance that the given object or situation does not pose potential harm and danger. This irrational fear is called a phobia.
A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder where people develop a persistent fear of a specific thing or situation. These fears are often excessive and without reason, where people who have developed phobias to different things often intensely fear things that in reality are no threat or danger to their physical or mental wellbeing.
Dr. Dena Rabinowitz, a licensed psychologist from New York City, said in an interview, “Phobias tend to cluster around common themes, animals, storms, certain unnatural environments. But there are some unique phobias. So, for example, in New York City, we have a lot of pigeon phobias. Because pigeons are around.”
Genetics and Environmental Factors
The causes of the different phobias are not specific. They can develop during childhood, adolescence, or adulthood, depending on the present situation or environment a person is subjected to. People can also develop phobias by linking or associating specific past events that were frightening and stressful to them, causing them to fear a repeated incident regarding that one particular thing or situation. Environmental factors may also lead to the development of phobias, like children learning to fear what people around his or her early years also fear.
“Margie Mader, LMFT, wrote, “When someone comes into my office and says they are suffering from anxiety, panic attacks or phobias, I ask them one question. “When did this start?” We can usually pinpoint it back to at least one traumatic incident that has impacted their system (mind, body, and spirit) so severely that it keeps replaying and therefore causing discomfort.”
Small or big events a person experiences can trigger emotional distress, which in turn can lead to phobias. These experiences may or may not be first hand but can play a factor in fear of occurrence to the self. There are also phobias that are developed genetically, where memories are passed down from generation to generation that allow offspring to inherit these fears from their ancestors. Also, there have been studies that support that both rational and irrational fear of things and situations are imprinted to genes that can be passed on.
How You Will Respond To Your Phobia Makes A Difference
Distinguishing the origin of phobias is not exact as it differs from individual to individual. The sources of fear may be the same, but the emotional response to them can vary. Experiences are also subjective and personal which may lead to different interpretations and associations. There is no particular cause for why we develop phobias, only genetic and environmental factors that play specific roles in the development of our thoughts and our psyche that often defy logic and reason.
Living with phobias may sometimes be difficult, but facing these fears is the only solution for you to master and own them.
I hope I can be like most wives who tell heart-melting stories about their husbands. I know it’s not right, but I do get envious whenever I watch romantic movies, and I ask myself, “Does a man like that really exist?” I don’t want to sound cynical, but at the age of 31, I already had a fair share of this cruel world.
The generation nowadays has come up with so many ways to enjoy life. The technology has somehow taught us that there is more to life than getting married and raising a family. In some ways, it is a dream to have no responsibility to anyone but yourself. The thought of living young and free is becoming popular that a lot of people choose to stay unattached. But did you know that there is a fear of commitment? It is called gamophobia.
Do people always ask you why you’re still not married? Does the thought of having to spend your life with someone scare you? You might have a fear of commitment – but why do you fear it? There is a phobia related to this which is called gamophobia. It is not necessarily the fear of commitment but fear of marriage.
Every single day is an opportunity for you to keep on improving yourself. As much as possible, make a true promise to yourself that you will do whatever it takes to be happier than ever. When you do this, you will begin to become more inspired and interested in getting on with the day. One of the aspects of your life that you have to change is the way you look at yourself. Barbara Markway Ph.D. wrote, “Low self-confidence is often based on unhelpful or untrue interpretations of a situation.”
Be sure that you will find time to invest in activities or change your mindset about becoming more confident.
Confidence is one of the things that you have to achieve in your life. Keep in mind that the moment you have mastered the art of self-confidence, the easier it would be on your part to meet your goals and objectives. Aside from this, you can also begin to develop more meaningful relationships with the people around you. If you want to experience all the other great benefits of becoming a more confident person, then read the rest of this post.
Be With Positive People
The first thing that you must consider is to surround yourself with the best people in your life. Learn how to determine those who never get tired of being your source of happiness and positivity. You need to build more stable relationships with persons who keep on sharing good influence over you. Conversely, you must also begin to avoid the individuals who will only make you feel stress or anxious.
Say Affirmations Daily
“Imagine the difference in your psyche and in your interactions with others if you move from saying “I’m worthless” day after day to saying “I am worthy and deserving of goodness.” Repeat “I am worthy and deserving of goodness” each time you go outside.” – Tonya Ladipo, LCSW
Another thing that you have to keep in mind is the significance of saying affirmations daily. It is best if you do it in the morning when you are still in a good mood. You can start your day right by reminding yourself of how amazing and fantastic you are as an individual. Some of the affirmations that you can use include: “I am in charge of life,” “I can make things happen,” “Everything I need and want will come soon,” and “ Things are starting to go my way.” The more you say these to yourself, the easier it would be for you to feel better.
Take Care Of Your Body
Do not give yourself a hard time to appreciate who you are as a person. As such, you need to begin putting your overall wellness as the number one priority in your life. No matter how busy you are at work, be sure that you still have sufficient time for doing physical activities. At the same time, you must also start to eat a balanced diet. When you do all these things, your body will start to improve. If you can sustain this kind of lifestyle, you will eventually develop a different set of self-confidence. You will become more interested and inspired to love yourself, especially once you see the progress. If you are not sure how to care for yourself, do not hesitate to ask for help from the people around you.
“People with a good and healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments,” says John Grohol, PsyD.
Be honest enough to deal with your weaknesses so that you can find a way to change it into strengths.
Getting invited to speak in front of a crowd and to influence them with your words can be rewarding yet overwhelming on your part. Of course, you will feel excited because it is a rare opportunity that has come your way. At the same time, you may also feel nervous or anxious about the endless possibilities that can happen when you are speaking. Do not fret nor worry because we got you covered.
For today’s write-up, we are going to share the top guidelines that you need to observe so that you can become better when it comes to giving speeches. Take note that the more you expose yourself to speaking engagements, the more confident you will become. As such, if you are still having doubts about yourself at the moment, do not worry because such a feeling is only normal. However, you must begin to fight your self-doubts so that you can keep going. Here are the guidelines to remember:
Preparation Is Key
In everything that you do in life, be sure that you are always equipped with the right skill sets. The best and ideal way to make this happen is to prioritize preparation. As much as possible, make an effort in writing down your speech ahead of time and memorizing them. We understand that this crucial process can be challenging, but once you do it, everything will become a lot easier when you speak. Aside from this, it can also boost your morale as you continue your talk.
Get To Know The Audience
Before showing up for the scheduled talk, it is best if you will take time to get to know the people who will listen to your speech. Find out what interests them so that you can incorporate it into your talk. Aside from this, you must also make an effort in studying the demographics of your listeners. The significance of all these is to ensure that you will not say something that can be offensive to him.
“Remember,” says Carol Fleming, Ph.D., “the point of giving a toast, a presentation or a speech is about communicating your message to your audience. It’s not about you.”
Choose The Right Words
When speaking in public, be sure that you will avoid using flowery words. People do not like to listen to long speeches that do not make any sense. Use words that are easy to understand and find a way to insert an icebreaker that can make your audience hooked to your speech. Never use vulgar words or comments because it can have an adverse effect on your entire talk. Most importantly, be sure that you know how to take deliberate pauses while speaking.
Be Cool At All Times
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. suggests the old counting trick. “The next time something or someone frosts your cookies,” he said, “just slowly count, and with each number, remind yourself that by getting upset you are only hurting yourself.”
Speaking can be nerve-wracking, especially if you have a little expertise in this area. Because of this, it will be a lot easier for you to have mind-limiting doubts about yourself. You will begin to realize that you may not be good enough to become a speaker at a particular event. During these moments, all you have to do is to remind yourself how pretty and fantastic you are. Master the art of controlling your thoughts and emotions. Know when is the right time to relax and keep your cool.
If there is one thing that you need to master in this life, it is the ability to communicate clearly and effectively to the people around you. Take note that your failure to communicate well can give rise to several issues or conflicts. According to a recent study on personal relationships, one of the most common sources of fights among individuals is miscommunication. Unfortunately, one person may not easily understand what the other means because of some communication barriers. Conversely, you may also fail to convey your true intentions to others because you do not know how to speak up.
Jennifer J. Uhrlass, LMFT strongly believes that blame won’t get you anywhere. “Whether you are struggling to navigate a difficult situation together or daily arguments have become the norm, everyone can benefit from improved communication.”
For this reason, we have decided to come up with an article that can provide our readers with some techniques or strategies that can be used in communicating effectively. Our primary objective is to help you become better when it comes to getting in touch with others and communicating with them in the best way possible. Make sure to familiarize yourself with these:
Think Clearly Before Speaking
As much as possible, make it a habit to think clearly before you will utter words from your mouth. Keep in mind that the moment you speak up, you can never take back those words again. As such, if you are too tactless when it comes to communicating, you may end up hurting your friends or family members. At the same time, you may also offend them with your thoughtless comments or feedback. Because of this, you have to be careful as you try to connect with them. Think your words over and over again before speaking what’s on your mind.
“Diplomacy is a skill that is well worth learning. The need of diplomacy isn’t felt just in international relations; it’s also highly valuable in “domestic relations,” including your own personal nearest and dearest relationships, as well.” – Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.
Choose The Right Timing
Another tip that you must always remember is the significance of choosing the perfect timing for communicating with those surrounding you. If you want to convey or send a message to someone, make sure to check if the circumstances at the moment are excellent for a conversation. For example, if you are going to give constructive criticism to the work of your friend, you have to see to it that both of you are not in a public place. The right thing to do is to find alone time together before talking to her.
Focus When You Speak
Are you the kind of individual who gets distracted easily? Do you find it hard to sustain your focus or interest in a particular topic? If yes, then you have to exert more effort into controlling these negative tendencies. What you must do is to engage in activities that can help you increase your ability to focus on certain things. Otherwise, you will keep on experiencing distractions along the way, and it can soon have an adverse effect on the relationship you have to the people surrounding you. Take note that the other person will surely appreciate it if he can sense that you are giving him the right amount of attention when you are speaking. On the contrary, if he can feel that your mind is off to a different place while you are conversing, then he may begin to dislike you for being disrespectful.
Talking about effective communication skills for women, Cheryl Sexton, LMFT says, “I would advise women not to use qualifiers or passive speech to make their position seem smaller or less than someone else’s position.”
According to Theo Tsaousides Ph.D., “While fear teaches you to protect yourself in risky situations, letting that fear stand between you and your audience could prevent you from sharing inspiring ideas, speaking about important work, and presenting interesting solutions to problems that affect many people. In short, it’s everyone’s loss.”
Are you going to speak in front of a big crowd anytime soon? Are you have second thoughts about your ability to talk about a topic and relate it to the crowd? Is it frightening on your part to think about the possible issues or concerns that may arise during your speech? If you answered yes to all these questions, then make sure to check out the rest of this article.
For today’s post, we are going to talk and discuss the various tips and tricks to keep in mind the next time you engage in a public speaking event. Before anything else, we want to remind everyone that you can get over your fears and doubts. What is essential at this point is that you are 100% sure that you want to do public speaking. On the other hand, if you have been forced to do it for the sake of impressing others, then there is a high tendency or chance that you will not succeed. Take note that you can only become a great and excellent speaker if you love public speaking genuinely.
Here are the top techniques to consider:
Keep Your Cool
As much as possible, try to control your negative thoughts and self-limiting doubts. The ideal thing to do is to learn how to appreciate yourself. Once you make this happen, it will be a lot easier on your part to stay relaxed during the speech. Try to practice regularly so that you can know the strong points of your talk. If this continues to happen, there is a high probability that you will begin to act more confident in front of the crowd.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. still believes that the old counting trick works. “The next time something or someone frosts your cookies,” he said, “just slowly count, and with each number, remind yourself that by getting upset you are only hurting yourself.”
Think Twice Before Speaking
One of the essential tips that you must never forget is the significance of thinking clearly before you open your mouth. Make sure that you will not end up offending any of your listeners. Because of this, you must do your homework before going to the place where you will give your speech. The proper process is to get to know your audience first. Talk to the organizer of the event and ask little details about the potential guests who will attend the event. In so doing, you will already have an idea as to the type of people that you will talk to.
Make The Speech Interesting
“In my work with clients around public speaking, I have seen a common theme of self-doubt. I’ve seen clients express that they don’t believe in their own skills and abilities and view their skills or abilities as less than their peers.” – Christie Hays, LPC.
The challenging part of public speaking is to relay the message of your speech, without being too dull for the listeners. As such, you must find a way to insert fantastic commentaries on your statement. When you do this right, the audience will be hooked to listen to your entire talk. At the same time, they will also find you as an excellent speaker who has to succeed in capturing their attention.
Nonetheless, you must also see to it that you know how to insert the exciting pieces in your speech. Make sure that you will not offend any person. Failure to do this can have adverse effects on your reputation. Moreover, people will find it hard to invite you again for future speaking engagements.