Reasons Why Commitment Scares You And How Online Therapy Can Help

Do people always ask you why you’re still not married? Does the thought of having to spend your life with someone scare you? You might have a fear of commitment – but why do you fear it? There is a phobia related to this which is called gamophobia. It is not necessarily the fear of commitment but fear of marriage.


Fear of commitment and fear of marriage can be correlated. Some people may fear marriage but are living together with someone, just not within matrimony.

So it’s true what Danielle Grossman, LMFT, has to say:  “It is often in a marriage or committed intimate relationship that our fear comes riding back into town, ready to avenge us for casting it out. We have treated fear as the enemy, so it has gone into fighting mode. In fighting mode, fear is ruthless.”

Why Do You Fear Commitment?


  1. How many relationships have you had? There may be some that left a bad memory, so you fear that you could get your heart broken once more that you prefer to be single.


  1. Did you come from a broken family? Do you have a family member who experienced divorce and you have witnessed the burden of having to go through the process? You have an idea how much stress it could bring to your life that’s why you want to live worry-free.


  1. What is your priority in life? Do you give high importance to your career? They say if you want to be successful, you should be ready to give up your personal life because success requires time and dedication. Being in a relationship can give you limitations as to what you can contribute to your company.


  1. You are scared that you might find someone better in the long run that’s why you want to wait and explore your options.


  1. You don’t want to rush into things and regret it someday. You want to make sure that you are ready before finally dedicating your life to someone.


  1. Some of us don’t want someone to boss us around. If you’re going to go somewhere with friends, you are more likely to ask permission first, and this scenario often causes conflicts between couples.

According to John Grohol, PsyD., “The causes of commitment phobia are as varied as the people who suffer from it. Typically, however, many people with commitment issues have complained of having experienced poor romantic relationships, either first-hand or through observation of others (such as their parents’ acrimonious relationship or divorce while growing up).”

How Can Online Therapy Address Your Fear Of Commitment?

  1. You can reveal your fears and troubles in online therapy without the fear of being judged. Rest assured, the licensed therapists are aware of the circumstances surrounding your phobia.


  1. If you fear commitment, there’s a high chance that you don’t want to be tied up into something that will occupy your schedule. Online therapy is convenient as you can choose when you want to schedule a session.


  1. Online therapy helps in sorting out your inner feelings towards your fears with comfort. It is easy to divulge your problems when you are comfortable at home sitting in your favorite chair. You can focus on the objective of the therapy.
  2. Online therapy gives you more time for yourself by taking away the travel time when you are going to a therapist’s clinic to do a face-to-face session.


  1. Online therapy conducts some activities which allow you to reflect on your issues and sort them out by yourself first while talking online. Unlike face-to-face sessions, you can quickly come back to your therapist through the phone and discuss the activity.

Dealing with your fear is challenging when you don’t have the support you need. You have to be determined to overcome it and do the best you can to cooperate with an expert in addressing your condition. Online therapy provides continuous assistance as it is very convenient, and skipping your sessions are less likely.

“If you feel irrational fear or a phobia has become extreme and interferes with day-to-day living, you should consider professional assistance. There might be a relatively easy fix or the need to utilize a number of techniques to break the cycle.” – Susan Block, LMFT.